lady_moon | (no subject)

(no subject)

The portal from her home world closes behind them as they set foot onto a hard, green surface.

With raised bumps.

All around them, built out of interlocking, huge plastic blocks, are office buildings, skyscrapers, light poles, and restaurants. Cars built out of the same blocks rumble by, their plastic people waving stiffly to each other as they pass. Even the greenery is made out of plastic, everything carefully created.

As the two stand on the sidewalk, cars travelling in opposite directions collide, shattering into their individual blocks. The occupants of the vehicles, one redhaired plastic man with a mustache and a one cowboy, shake their heads, then shake hands, and begin to rebuild their cars together. It was a very peaceful meeting, really, and the two plastic people laugh as they remake the cars.

Moon turns to Indy and grabs his hand. "We should help them!" she declares.

She has brought Indiana Jones to Legoland.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Moon blinks, looks around, then back to him.

"I'm excited about my first train ride?"

She gives a shrug, a laugh, and then pokes him.

"Let's get these little plastic people to their destination, O Meaty One!"

Pushing the throttle forward towards to the label and moving the train slowly away from the station, Indy's brow furrows.

"Meaty One?"

"I know you've seen me naked... but that water wasn't exactly warm, y'know."

She gives him an odd look, at first not understanding what he meant.

Then she blushes as she gets it.

"I meant, they are plastic, you aren't." Moon gives him a playful slap. "Meatbag."

And she blows the whistle again, because... you know... they're moving and moving requires whistle blowing.

Indy looks enlightened, and laughs at the slap.

"Ohhh, right. Heh."

He doesn't really care about the whistle-blowing. In fact, he'd kinda like to blow it himself if he can ever get her away from it.

The town's buildings start to move by at an increasing rate. They pass the town hall and its impressive clock tower, then the fire station and the bakery, and then cruise through a residential neighborhood. Families in the back gardens all wave at them as the train clatters by.

"What's the next stop?" Indy asks. Evidently Moon is required to fill the role of navigator as well as Chief Whistle Blower.

Moon blinks and turns around as much as she can to look at the map of the stops. "It looks like... mmm... the blue dot."

They aren't exactly labeled.

They were colour coded.

"After the blue dot, it's the yellow dot. Are you getting this?" she asks with a grin.

"I... er... heh. Sure. I'll figure it out."

Indy glances ahead again.

"Speaking of which... we've got a red signal. Blue dot ahoy."

He throttles back gently and eases the train into the approaching station. It's very professionally done, but for the ear-piercing whistle that sounds out as they come to a stop. Several of the awaiting passengers jump slightly, and lift fixed-grip hands towards the sides of their heads. Indy wonders why, since they don't actually have ears.

"For future reference, blue dot equals Lego Acres," he notes, reading the sign on this platform. "Guess this is the suburbs stop."

His observation is borne out by the exodus of businessmen from the train. That has to be it. The neighborhood is right, and his driving wasn't that bad.

"Are we going to be making this journey more than once?"

Moon leans out their car and watches the various Lego people exit or get onto the train. She moves to the other side of the engine in order to look at the little houses.

"Do you think they sleep? I mean, they don't blink, their mouths don't open... in fact, how do you think those plastic women had those plastic babies?" This question has her fascinated.

Indy leans out of the cab and checks that everyone is on board, then signals the guard as before. They start to move off again.

"Dunno about the sleepin', but I'm guessin' the women just go to hospital when the time's right, then a baby Lego kid shows up in a crib next to the bed after a few hours. Kinda like... stork magic?"

"Stork magic? Who taught you about the birds and the bees?"

She giggles and watches the scenery pass by.

"Moo cows!" she cries when they move by open pastures filled with the plastic cows that bend to the fake grass as if grazing. She yanks on the whistle cord with a whoop, laughing when the cows look up at the loud noise.

"They're so cute! I wonder... yes! There!" She points at another pasture with plastic horses loping about oddly on their stiff legs. "Horsies!"

The countryside racing by is certainly pretty and very fascinating. Indy, however, is still musing over the phenomena of birth and growth for the Lego people. He wonders what the rites of passage are for a Lego boy to become a Lego man. Third base, maybe?

He breaks out of his pondering at her latest whoop, and grins at her.

"Havin' fun?"

She turns her attention back to Indy, her eyes sparkling. This is the most fun she has had in many, many years, and it pleases her to experience it with someone not bound to her by madness.

"Lots!" she cries into the wind and pounces him in a tight hug, planting a kiss on his cheek.

"Me too."

Indy beams again, incredibly pleased by her response, and volleys back the cheek kiss with one of his own. In the aftermath, he finds himself utterly lost in her delight, and in her eyes. It's impossible to tear his gaze away.

So he doesn't.

She maintains eye contact, cheeks lightly flushed, and doesn't pull away from her hug. It's only by chance that her eyes flicker to the rail in front of them and her smile fades.

"Indy?" she begins slowly. "Doesn't red mean... stop?"

Her eyes are now on the red signal that they were now passing.

Indy just nods at first, not quite realizing what she is referencing. He then absently tracks her gaze...

...and pales slightly.

"SHIT!"

"Yellow dot stop!" she shouts, jumping back. "We're going to miss the yellow dot stop!"

Oh, those poor Lego people who were going to have to ride the whole route again.

In an attempt to make good his promise to the displaced driver, Indy yanks back on the throttle to try and slow them in time for the station.

Unfortunately, his panic-fueled strength is more than the plastic can bear, and the lever breaks off in his hand. What's more, through some cruel quirk of fate, his effort does nothing to decrease the speed of the train.

"Um..." Indy says, looking at the broken piece of Lego in his hand. "Y'know that trouble you were talking about earlier?"

"I think it just found us."

Her hands are covering her mouth.

Then she begins to giggle.

And can't stop.

Moon is doubled over as much as she can be in their cramped quarters, her laugher almost silent as she runs out of air in her lungs. She takes a deep breath, rights herself, and wipes at her eyes.

"Here I thought nothing would go wrong in such a world!"

She can't panic. It's not in her make up. But she does wonder, at this speed and with the track as it is, how they were going to stop.

And where.

"Quit laughing and blow the damn whistle!" Indy cries. He's not really panicing either, but he'd like to minimize the damage if possible. As such, he's in frantic action mode. "If ever there was a proper time to blow it...!"

The train zooms through the station, almost knocking over a few curiously helmeted passengers on the platform with the accompanying rush of air. There's just enough time to note that the yellow dot tanslates to the Legowood Castle stop.

"...nevermind."

Still, she blows the whistle.

"How are we going to stop the train?" she shouts into the wind. She points in front of them. "Because, if the laws of the multiverse apply here -- and I'm sure they do -- at this speed and that bend... we're looking at a very abrupt and uncontrolled stop."

Which she's expecting.

"I think this qualifies as hijacking now!"

Indy has stopped minecarts with his feet before, but he severely doubts he could do the same for this full train. He looks despairingly at the oncoming curve, and judges that, yes, it's certainly tight enough to derail them at this speed.

"Maybe."

He looks beyond the bend, and notes an enormous yellow fortress looming over the track. It's an impressive medieval structure with four corner towers and a central keep. There's even a drawbridge, and plastic flags on the battlements—though they're not actually flapping in the wind.

"I say we turn it into reckless abandonment before you end up having to sort my vital organs out from a mess of Lego bricks!"

"I am not explaining to anyone back at the bar why you don't come back with me should your vital organs be scattered about!"

No way was she going to be the bearer of such news. How do you explain that?

Excuse me? Everyone, can I have your attention? Yes, anyone who knows Indiana Jones, I have terrible news. During a hijacking attempt of Legoland's railway, the train sped out of control and we wound up crashing into the Legowood Castle, at which time his organs painted the yellow block an unflattering shade. My deepest sympathies.

No, that was not going to happen!

"You got us into this, you can get us out, because I am pretty sure I'll survive smashing into those blocks."

"Yeah. But I prob'ly won't!" Indy retorts desperately. "I'm not keen on testing the theory, and since I've got no other idea how to stop this damn thing, we're jumping! That's how we're getting out of this!"

He moves to the door and flings it open against the buffeting wind.

"C'mon! It's not like the passengers are gonna get hurt."

She actually ponders jumping versus smashing into the castle.

The jumping sounded like more fun.

Moon bends at her knees and jumps, giving a delighted whoop as she tumbles along the unforgiving plastic grass.

When she stops moving, legs splayed, she laughs, watching their comandeered train head on its crash course with the castle.

"I think property values are about to drop!"

Indy jumps once Moon is clear. He absorbs the worst of the impact on his feet, but the momentum throws him forward after that. He lands heavily on his side and rolls along the hard knobbly turf for several yards before finally coming to a stop against an impenetrable bush.

He barely has time to gather himself before the runaway train careens off the tracks. Passengers can be seen through the blurring windows, staring towards their doom with jolly smiles still in place.

"...I hope they have insurance here," is Indy's wincing contribution. He seems unharmed for the most part, which is more than we can say for the train and its occupants.

The engine plows into the heavily fortified walls with a huge smash, followed by all the violently snaking carriages. Each one explodes in a clattering shower of Lego bricks, tiles, and possibly heads. And, if that isn't bad enough, the castle is also breeched by the impact. A huge hole forms in the wall amidst the falling plastic pieces.

Moon sighs, shaking her head.

"I just can't take you to nice places," she quips, getting to her feet. She looks herself over, finding only minor injuries. "Oh, bruises are so unattractive. At least scrapes are red."

She eyes the carnage as she bites her lip.

"I don't think I can help put that mess back together. It's a little more complicated than a couple of Lego cars." She tilts her head and looks over her scraped shoulder at Indy. "You know how to show a girl a good time, hmm?"