(no subject)

[lady_moon]

The portal from her home world closes behind them as they set foot onto a hard, green surface.

With raised bumps.

All around them, built out of interlocking, huge plastic blocks, are office buildings, skyscrapers, light poles, and restaurants. Cars built out of the same blocks rumble by, their plastic people waving stiffly to each other as they pass. Even the greenery is made out of plastic, everything carefully created.

As the two stand on the sidewalk, cars travelling in opposite directions collide, shattering into their individual blocks. The occupants of the vehicles, one redhaired plastic man with a mustache and a one cowboy, shake their heads, then shake hands, and begin to rebuild their cars together. It was a very peaceful meeting, really, and the two plastic people laugh as they remake the cars.

Moon turns to Indy and grabs his hand. "We should help them!" she declares.

She has brought Indiana Jones to Legoland.

Comments

[lady_moon]

Her hands are covering her mouth.

Then she begins to giggle.

And can't stop.

Moon is doubled over as much as she can be in their cramped quarters, her laugher almost silent as she runs out of air in her lungs. She takes a deep breath, rights herself, and wipes at her eyes.

"Here I thought nothing would go wrong in such a world!"

She can't panic. It's not in her make up. But she does wonder, at this speed and with the track as it is, how they were going to stop.

And where.

[henry-jones-jr.livejournal.com]

"Quit laughing and blow the damn whistle!" Indy cries. He's not really panicing either, but he'd like to minimize the damage if possible. As such, he's in frantic action mode. "If ever there was a proper time to blow it...!"

The train zooms through the station, almost knocking over a few curiously helmeted passengers on the platform with the accompanying rush of air. There's just enough time to note that the yellow dot tanslates to the Legowood Castle stop.

"...nevermind."

[lady_moon]

Still, she blows the whistle.

"How are we going to stop the train?" she shouts into the wind. She points in front of them. "Because, if the laws of the multiverse apply here -- and I'm sure they do -- at this speed and that bend... we're looking at a very abrupt and uncontrolled stop."

Which she's expecting.

"I think this qualifies as hijacking now!"

[henry-jones-jr.livejournal.com]

Indy has stopped minecarts with his feet before, but he severely doubts he could do the same for this full train. He looks despairingly at the oncoming curve, and judges that, yes, it's certainly tight enough to derail them at this speed.

"Maybe."

He looks beyond the bend, and notes an enormous yellow fortress looming over the track. It's an impressive medieval structure with four corner towers and a central keep. There's even a drawbridge, and plastic flags on the battlements—though they're not actually flapping in the wind.

"I say we turn it into reckless abandonment before you end up having to sort my vital organs out from a mess of Lego bricks!"

[lady_moon]

"I am not explaining to anyone back at the bar why you don't come back with me should your vital organs be scattered about!"

No way was she going to be the bearer of such news. How do you explain that?

Excuse me? Everyone, can I have your attention? Yes, anyone who knows Indiana Jones, I have terrible news. During a hijacking attempt of Legoland's railway, the train sped out of control and we wound up crashing into the Legowood Castle, at which time his organs painted the yellow block an unflattering shade. My deepest sympathies.

No, that was not going to happen!

"You got us into this, you can get us out, because I am pretty sure I'll survive smashing into those blocks."

[henry-jones-jr.livejournal.com]

"Yeah. But I prob'ly won't!" Indy retorts desperately. "I'm not keen on testing the theory, and since I've got no other idea how to stop this damn thing, we're jumping! That's how we're getting out of this!"

He moves to the door and flings it open against the buffeting wind.

"C'mon! It's not like the passengers are gonna get hurt."

[lady_moon]

She actually ponders jumping versus smashing into the castle.

The jumping sounded like more fun.

Moon bends at her knees and jumps, giving a delighted whoop as she tumbles along the unforgiving plastic grass.

When she stops moving, legs splayed, she laughs, watching their comandeered train head on its crash course with the castle.

"I think property values are about to drop!"

[henry-jones-jr.livejournal.com]

Indy jumps once Moon is clear. He absorbs the worst of the impact on his feet, but the momentum throws him forward after that. He lands heavily on his side and rolls along the hard knobbly turf for several yards before finally coming to a stop against an impenetrable bush.

He barely has time to gather himself before the runaway train careens off the tracks. Passengers can be seen through the blurring windows, staring towards their doom with jolly smiles still in place.

"...I hope they have insurance here," is Indy's wincing contribution. He seems unharmed for the most part, which is more than we can say for the train and its occupants.

The engine plows into the heavily fortified walls with a huge smash, followed by all the violently snaking carriages. Each one explodes in a clattering shower of Lego bricks, tiles, and possibly heads. And, if that isn't bad enough, the castle is also breeched by the impact. A huge hole forms in the wall amidst the falling plastic pieces.

[lady_moon]

Moon sighs, shaking her head.

"I just can't take you to nice places," she quips, getting to her feet. She looks herself over, finding only minor injuries. "Oh, bruises are so unattractive. At least scrapes are red."

She eyes the carnage as she bites her lip.

"I don't think I can help put that mess back together. It's a little more complicated than a couple of Lego cars." She tilts her head and looks over her scraped shoulder at Indy. "You know how to show a girl a good time, hmm?"

[henry-jones-jr.livejournal.com]

Indy is rubbing his shoulder when she airs the last comment, nodding his agreement at the complexity of the rebuild. His head snaps round quite quickly, and he stares at her for a short while, Marion's similar comment ringing in his head.

(Well Jones, least you haven't forgotten how to show a lady a good time)

That was then though, outside a raging inferno that was previously her Nepal bar. This is now, in front of a semi-demolished Lego castle and a catastrophic train wreck. It's totally different!

"Heh. You picked up on that as well, huh?"

[lady_moon]

Moon has no idea she's voiced another's opinion. She smiles pleasantly at him before coming to stand by his side.

"Well, we were wrong about avoiding trouble. Do you think we'll be wrong about avoiding angry native mobs?" she asks with a giggle, bumping him with her hip.

[henry-jones-jr.livejournal.com]

"Dunno," Indy says, eyeing the castle with a certain amount of trepidation. "First things first though, before we think about escape..."

He looks her over, beyond the bruising.

"You okay?"

[lady_moon]

She turns to him and nods.

"I told you, the worst that can happen to me is the ruining of a perfectly good outfit." Moon bends every which way, checking her skirt. When she does find a rip, she stomps her foot. "Hmph. I'll need to replace the skirt." But she's grinning. "Perfect reason to go shopping!"

Not that Moon shops.

She just kind of... acquires.

[henry-jones-jr.livejournal.com]

Neglecting the threat of shopping, Indy looks quietly relieved, and hauls himself up off the ground. After a few more moments, he affects a mildly affronted look.

"I'm fine too, by the way. Thanks for askin'."

There's a smirk not far behind.

[lady_moon]

"Your organs aren't painted on the castle, and you're talking." She wrinkles her nose cutely. "I deducted you were perfectly fine, Mr. Part-Time Adventurer."

She slowly walks toward the train wreck.

"It's quite a mess."

[henry-jones-jr.livejournal.com]

"That's a bit of an understatement."

Indy follows her, shaking his head at the devastation, and grimacing slightly as he nearly steps on a pair of blue-jeaned legs. Before he can comment on the kill count, a low clanking noise demands his attention off to the left.

It's the castle drawbridge lowering.

"Uh oh..."

Seconds after it touches down, a formidable troop of medieval foot soldiers march jerkily across it and start to bear down on Indy and Moon. They are resplendent in silver and blue tunics, with armor, shields and helmets, and they're armed with all manner of blunt plastic weaponry, from axes and swords to maces and halberds.

Not far behind that formation, a contingent of horseback knights are mustering, with long lances locked into a forward pointing position. It looks like they may be preparing a charge.

Indy takes all this in with a vaguely worried expression. It doesn't improve when he notices the archers taking aim between the gaps in the battlements.

"I think we might've outstayed our welcome, sweetheart."

[lady_moon]

"You think?"

She eyes the army and the archers.

"You had to crash at the yellow dot stop, huh?" She's rethinking her enjoyment of the colour yellow.

Moon starts backing up. "I think we should leave. Before those archers make pincushions out of us. Because blunt or not, I'm sure those things'll hurt."

She turns her back to the oncoming army and begins to call forth the portal that would lead them to another world.

It would take a minute, though, and she's distracted.

[henry-jones-jr.livejournal.com]

"Oh. Now you admit they might hurt," Indy sneers, not unkindly, "when we're under immediate threat from them."

He glances uneasily between the rapidly closing infantry and Moon's efforts to call up an exit. It doesn't look good. The soldiers are running now, and arrows have started to rain down.

"C'mon! Move it!"

Perhaps the oddest aspect of this scene is the fact that the knights, who are simply reacting to what has been deemed as an attack on their castle, are all smiling brightly, even as they prepare to put the human tourists to death.

Indy's had enough of it all. The arrow that jabs into his butt is the final straw. With a grunt, he stoops and picks up the decapitated head of a train crash passenger (a blonde construction worker). He takes two steps of run up, then powerfully bowls the head across the bumpy terrain, aiming for the lead infantry men.






The resulting skittle effect is pretty comical. Soldiers tumble left and right, and others in the force start tripping over in the chaos.

"Steeeee-rike!" Indy hollers triumphantly.

[lady_moon]

The portal appears, a liquid-looking green and white door.

"You know what? Next time, you can call the portal under duress!" she calls back to him with a giggle. The giggle is cut short as an arrow pings her in the backside, and she rubs her sore bum. "I'll never be able to come back here," she grumbles cutely. She looks over her shoulder. "You coming?" Moon gives him one of her bright smiles, and then ducks into the portal, expecting him to follow her.

Anywhere was better than here at the moment.

[henry-jones-jr.livejournal.com]

Still riding the wave of his bowling glory, Indy recklessly rushes forward to the military mayhem and grabs a dropped axe. He then retreats hurriedly, ducking to avoid another well-targeted arrow and yanking up a bunch of flowers while he's down there.

Before leaping through the portal, he spares the disorderly troops one last look, and cheekily tips his hat at them.

"So long!"